One Month

Well, today is the day.  A month from today I will be on my way to California.  The past month has been a crazy time … a stressful time.  I’ve been incredibly overwhelmed, excited, sad and oddly enough .. homesick.  I’ve had this homesick feeling and I’M STILL AT HOME.  I’ve been thinking about how on earth I will possibly make it in California, both financially and physically/mentally.  Honestly, I won’t be able to … not without divine intervention.   Whenever I think about leaving home I feel sick and want to cry (my eyes are welling as I type this).  I’m going to need to find a job like as soon as I get out there .. which IS possible ( I applied online for a job and got a call yesterday, and was told to stop in once I get out there).  I think the hardest thing for me will be leaving my mama.  Haha … that sounds pretty stupid I’m sure, but she has been there consistently for me to comfort, encourage and guide me.  And I’m going to miss that SO MUCH.  I keep telling myself if I make it the first month, I can make it another 2 1/2 months (and then go home for break) and then I can make it another 4 months until the summer, and then I can make it through the next year and get my degree and then come back home if I wish (and if God wills).  I’m looking forward to my classes and I’m sure that I will enjoy them when I get there. I’m looking forward to sharing my apartment with 3 other super cool girls, and I’m sure it will be good when I get there.  I’m not looking forward to leaving my mom, but I know God is and will continue to be good when I get out there.  I was thinking about it and wondering if Jesus ever felt homesick.  Like ya .. maybe when He was a child and was away from His mom, but I mean homesick because He left heaven and the Father.  I think my communication with my mom will be like His communication with God, and I hope that my communication with God will be like Jesus’ as well.  I need to remember that my Father is my life-line … He is the perfect comforter … He is what can get me through.