Sometimes it sweeps in like a rushing wind, or an awesome avalanche cascading to the depths of a mountain.  However, at times, it slowly comes to bear like a puddle being formed by a steady drip of a forgotten faucet.                                                      

At times it’s scary.  Is change ever not scary?

Throughout the day my sinful heart avoids, often pushes back, at this change.  So, what is it?  Why is this change so important, so distasteful to the one who seeks to kill and destroy?

Because it helps me to find JOY.  Joy in the one my heart was made to love.  Joy in God.

My typical day presents hundreds or moments where I can either find stress, or discouragement, or pain, or loneliness, or anger, or, or, or …. or Joy.  I have a bent towards negativity.  Towards not seeing grace.  Towards ungratefulness.  But God has begun to change me, by the renewing of my mind.  Oh, it’s true, Ann Voskamp, that thankfulness, eucharisteo, cannot coexist with a bitter spirit .. with discontentment. How i’ve tried! 

But when I am driving to Walmart at 9pm, because my cat decided she didn’t like her new litter, and there is a glare from the emptiness of the litter tub … when God paints two bright twin rainbows and puts them in my going path, and then makes the sky dance with a pink parade in the clouds in my coming path … it’s then that I give thanks and find joy. Yes, joy in his gifts of grace, but in so much more than that!  I find joy in HIM. Because He is gracious. Because He loves me.  Because He is good, and He is working in everything to keep His promise that He will conform me, change me, until I look like Jesus. 

So, like that steady faucet, the change comes.  And drips joy into my everyday.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     46)  A cereal covered smile                                                                

47) Sun warmed skin      

48) Encouragement from my husband      

49) Sugar sculpted creations by my Chef  

50) Fresh lavender scent pouring from the washroom  

51) Cleaned and cleared shower and sink traps  

52) A tender bumped head resting, comforted, on my chest

Through the blog of my friend Alyssa, I sovereignly “stumbled” upon another blog of a woman name Ann Voskamp, and a new journey upon which I am about to embark.

On her blog, Ann has been listing gifts from God that she sees in her life.
She states:

” I am one waking from slumber … from the stupor of indifference and ignorance. Too often I miss Him, oblivious, blind. I don’t see all the good things that He is giving me, gracing me with, brushing my life with.”

I am one who can completely relate. In a culture where I have so much.. too much, I miss so much. Regretfully my eyes are so clouded by self that the grace of God goes unnoticed hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second.

And so, this is the start of an effort to refocus my vision and to give thanks for the evidences of grace that are currently being missed.
Psalm 118:28
“You are my God, and I will give thanks to you..”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) A comfy hotel room to rest in while my husband is at work.

2) The jolting of my laptop brought about by kicks coming from inside my tummy.

3) The new pink journal that awaits the listing of many more gifts.

4) The heat that is keeping me warm as it rains outside.

5) An ultrasound picture that shows my little guys’ face, and represents the comforting news that he was okay.

Life is very different than it was at the time of my last post.
I am sitting here trying to balance my laptop as my son kicks from inside my tummy occasionally jolting it from its position.

I don’t exactly know why I’m back. Maybe for myself. Possibly for you.
Either way … here I am.

First, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by what it costs him: if he sacrifices his life for us, it assures us of deeper love than if he only sacrifices a few bruises. So [we see] the depth of Christ’s love by the greatness of what it cost him.
Second, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by how little we deserve it. If we have treated him well all our life, and have done all that he expects of us, then when he loves us, it will not prove as much love as it would if he loved us when we had offended him, and shunned him, and disdained him. The more undeserving we are, the more amazing and deep is his love for us. So [we see] the depth of Christ’s love in relation to how undeserving are the objects of his love (Romans 5:5-8).
Third, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by the greatness of the benefits we receive in being loved. If we are helped to pass an exam, we will feel loved in one way. If we are helped to get a job, we will feel loved another way. If we are helped to escape from an oppressive captivity and given freedom for the rest of our life, we will feel loved another way. And if we are rescued from eternal torment and given a place in the presence of God with fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore, we will know a depth of love that surpasses all others (1 John 3:1-3). So [we see] the depth of Christ’s love by the greatness of the benefits we receive in being loved by him.
Fourth, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by the freedom with which they love us. If a person does good things for us because someone is making him, when he doesn’t really want to, then we don’t think the love is very deep. Love is deep in proportion to its liberty. So if an insurance company pays you $40,000 because you lose your spouse, you don’t usually marvel at how much this company loves you. There were legal constraints. But if your Sunday School class makes all your meals for a month after your spouse dies, and someone calls you every day, and visits you every week, then you call it love, because they don’t have to do this. It is free and willing. So [we see] the depth of Christ’s love for us in his freedom: “No one takes my life from me; I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:18).
~John Piper

“How deep the fathers love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give his only son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulder
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out amoung the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts no power no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom”

I have been asking myself how this gospel I cling to is “shallow”, as it has been said in recent days, and my conclusions end the same time and time again:  IT’S NOT!  

This gospel is beautiful! It’s engaging! It’s wondrous!
The central figure is not me, or you- It’s undeniably HIM!
The apex of HIS glory, grace, love and triumph over sin are seen in this gospel.  It is the good news of how this Holy and utterly righteous King saves those who are enemies of God.  To push this aside is to diminish the fulness and apex of Christ’s glory, and diminishes the verity of the immense cost that was paid on that cross.

More to come ….